All About Couples Counseling in San Diego

If you live in the San Diego area and are looking into couples counseling, contact Jan Rakoff, a certified Counselor with 30 years of experience specializing in Couples Counseling.

Couples Counseling involves the active discussion of a couples’ issues between a Counselor and the individuals comprising the “couple”. This is done in an effort to recognize problematic behavioural patterns between couples, and to reconcile these issues in a manner that is comfortable for everyone involved in the Couples Counseling process.

Sometimes when there are problems in a relationship, neither party involved likes to admit or acknowledge that their relationship is in jeopardy. However, carrying on down a path that is proving to be challenging for you and your partner is unhealthy for both of you. Many couples develop “bad habits” over the course of their relationship, causing the relationship to suffer for reasons that may not always be apparent to the couple. A couples Counselor will help you and your partner to identify these “bad habits” and issues, and bring them to the surface so that they can be dealt with in a way that is acceptable and manageable for you both. It often takes the insight of an objective third party to identify where these issues are arising from to help you and your partner get back on track. With the aid of a couples Counselor facilitating discussions between you and your partner, couples counselling will help you to once again enjoy, respect, and appreciate one another.

A key method in couples counseling focuses primarily on the process of communication. One therapeutic technique taught in Couples Counseling that facilitates communication is active listening. With active listening skills, which are also modeled by the couples counselor, the couple learns ways to express individual feelings and emotions as well as hear the feelings and emotions of his/her partner. When done in a therapeutic setting, this creates a safe environment that facilitates a healthy discussion and the expression of feelings in a non-threatening manner.

Remember, most relationships become strained and stressful at times, and this is completely normal. It ishow the couple deals with this inevitable stress that determines the functionality and overall survival of the relationship. When poor communication skills are employed, self-reinforcing “bad habits” develop, which may eventually spiral into maladaptive behavioural patterns.

In Couples Counseling, it is important to recognize that relationship influences are reciprocal, meaning that each person involved is responsible for both creating and resolving problems. This means that each partner assumes equal responsibility for 1) his/her own contribution to the issue, and 2) making positive changes to overcome the issue collectively.

As a Couples Counselor, I will listen to both you and your partner and respect both of your narratives regarding the issues you are having with one another. It is through this active listening and discussion that I will become better equipped to understand and facilitate healthy, adaptive patterns of functioning between you and your partner. This will ultimately lead to the acquisition and implementation of realistic and practical conflict resolution skills for you as a couple, so that your relationship can once again be restored to its original, satisfying, and enjoyable state.

If you are in the San Diego area and feel that this article relates to your relationship, please contact me for a free 15 minute consultation at 858-481-0425 and see if couples counseling is right for you.

Copyright ©2012 Jan Rakoff. All Rights Reserved.

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