Do You Need Marriage Counseling?

Is Marriage Counseling For Me?San Diego Marriage Counseling

Have you ever wondered to yourself how healthy is my marriage? Are my husband/wife and I where we should be emotionally, mentally and physically? Is marriage counseling something we need? Or maybe you are thinking that it might just be best to end it all together. There are so many questions that surround the nature of marriage that it becomes very unclear as to where you stand in the spectrum of a healthy marriage.

I would like to tell you if you have A, B & C you are in a happy healthy marriage, but unfortunately there is no formula like that. So the question remains how do you know whether your marriage is “working” or if you need something like marriage counseling to get you back on track.

Obstacles Impairing Your View

The fact that you are reading this now suggests that you probably realize that their is something that could use improving in your marriage. However, quite often spouses are completely shocked when their significant other mentions divorce; having no idea that the other partner was dissatisfied with the way things are. That is why it pivotal in marriage counseling; to evaluate both of your feelings and viewpoints on your current relationship. Furthermore, it is essential to see past the obstacles that life has and to view your marriage as a single entity. That is when you will discover what is hindering your relationship and what is making it work.

Obstacles impairing your view may be good or bad in nature and foster the opposite conclusions for your spouse. Some often think if they are happy then they must been in a good relationship. While this could be true, it could also be attributed to the other facets of life, such as work, family, or accomplishments. This is often why spouses will be shocked when their partner mentions divorces; totally oblivious that there is something wrong when they feel so happy.

Others think if they are roughing the bad times then they are in healthy relationship. They feel as if they are  weathering it out when it is the toughest, they must have something special.

Marriage Counseling – The True Meaning

Couples construct justifications on whether they are in a good relationship through a variety of self-defined benchmarks. Couples often view the strength of their marriage’s success on whether they have accomplished certain behaviors or feelings. While these things can definitely make up a happy or healthy marriage it is largely not important. As we have just mentioned, one behavior or feeling to you may mean another to your spouse.

Within marriage we often get caught up in our own thoughts and decisions of how we think our marriage is “performing”. That fact is that thought process spawns a disconnect in the unity of the marriage. Through marriage counseling we help you to explore a deeper sense of understanding by discovering both of the individual’s feelings, behaviors and goals.

Growing Your Marriage Together

By working collaboratively to expose these facets each partners becomes aware of what is important to themselves as well as with each other. You will find out your spouse’s definition of a healthy marriage is; which will sometimes differ from yours greatly. It is important to dig deep too and not settle for the everyday after school answer of, “It’s ok”. What does that mean to them? What would it take reach their goals of a successful marriage.

Ultimately maintaining a healthy relationship is not about defining it for yourself but working collaboratively with your partner in order to achieve a level of satisfaction. In order to reach that level, ask your partner to make goals and you do the same. It can be as little as,“I would like if you kissed me goodbye before I go to work.” Through this constant communication, understanding and effort to pursue the other’s goals you will grow together and continue to embrace a healthy happy relationship. There is no cap to this level of communication though. A relationship must always be recognized or it will wither and become disconnected.

If you would like more information on marriage advice or to seek marriage counseling in order to achieve a more connected relationship, please do not hesitate to contact me.

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