How Spying on Your Partner’s Devices Can Ruin Your Relationship

As technology becomes a bigger part of everyone’s lives, spying on significant others is becoming more and more common.  While you may be tempted to see whether or not your partner is up to no good, snooping can wind up ruining your relationship. As a San Diego marriage counseling therapist, as well as a couple’s counselor, I have seen many couples walk through my door feeling resentful and hurt by their partner’s snooping habits.

Spying Indicates a Lack of Trust

If you feel the need to spy on your partner, you probably don’t trust them. Snooping is typically an indication of deeper underlying issues.

Trust and honesty are the foundation of a healthy, happy relationship. If you think your partner may be sneaking off with another man or woman, the foundation of your relationship may not be as solid as you think. This lack of trust and honesty is one of the primary reasons so many couples seek out marriage counseling in San Diego.

Why don’t you trust your partner? Have they been dishonest in the past, or do you have past issues that make it difficult for you to trust others? Regardless of the reason, you and your partner likely have unresolved issues that are making it difficult to not only trust one another, but to be open and honest with each other as well.

Spying on your partner will not resolve the issue, and will only exacerbate the problem. This type of behavior will only reinforce your distrust for your partner, and make it more difficult to work through these issues.

Spying Violates Boundaries and Privacy

How would you feel if you knew that your partner was snooping on your devices? You would probably feel as if your privacy and personal boundaries had been violated.

For most couples, finding out that their partner is spying on them is clearly crossing the line. Every person is entitled to a certain amount of privacy and every relationship should have boundaries.

When spying is introduced into the equation, it throws both of these rights out the window. In a way, this behavior can be interpreted as having little or no respect for your partner. If the spying continues, it gives both partners the impression that that this sort of behavior is okay; a sort of “anything goes” relationship. But when anything goes, both partners wind up hurting each other and feeling resentful.

Snooping Will Lead to Resentment

Snooping on your partner will cause them to resent you. If and when they find out that you are spying on them, the ramifications of this behavior may cause irreparable damage to your relationship.

How can your partner continue to be in a relationship with you if they feel like they are being watched all the time? No one wants to remain in a relationship that makes them feel as if they have to walk on eggshells every second of the day.

San Diego Marriage Counseling and Couples Counseling

If you and your significant other are having issues with this problem, contact me today at 858-481-0425. My experience will create an inviting environment for couple’s to both work towards a healthier relationship, so don’t hesitate to contact me with any questions!

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